Hello beautiful moms. You’re doing a wonderful job with your kids. Really, you are. I see you. I know you. I am you.
You made it through those crazy, sleep-deprived months of mothering a newborn, then an infant. You lovingly took care of your child’s every need. You taught them to walk, to talk, to dress themselves. As they got older you taught them to pray. You taught them that they are a child of God, and Jesus wants them for a Sunbeam. You took them to church. You held family prayer and Family Home Evenings.
You also made it through the school years. You made it through the paper shuffle and finding last week’s assignment crinkled and damp in the bottom of their back pack. You agonized over their incomprehensible ability to complete assignments, and yet not turn them in. You attended parent-teacher conferences, however embarrassing, and every sporting event or concert your child was a part of. You encouraged them to do their best and to make good friends. You continued to pray with them and teach them about Jesus Christ and His gospel. You taught them to hope they would be called on a mission when they grew a foot or two. You comforted them when they failed or when they were disappointed or betrayed. You bandaged scraped knees and soothed broken hearts with a hug, a smile, and homemade cookies.
And you were there when they went through high school. You cheered at their accomplishments and praised their talents and achievements. You supported them in their ambitions and sports activities. And, sometimes you cried. When kids grow older their decisions have bigger consequences. Their brains aren’t fully developed until they’re at least in their mid-20’s, but they’re driving cars, dating, getting jobs and doing lots of other “adult” things. They make choices that are so foreign to the way you raised them that you think to yourself, “Where did that come from?” and “Where did I go wrong?” and “Why aren’t they following the path I started them on?”
Here’s the thing: Moms, your child needs to make their own decisions. You wouldn’t really want it any other way, even when their decisions don’t agree with your ideal picture of them or their lives. They won’t learn to travel their own path in this life unless they make decisions. Even big ones. The main reason Adam and Eve were driven out of the Garden of Eden was so that they would learn from their own experience. And, yes, it’s hard to watch them make mistakes. From your perspective of many more years on the planet, you can see where their decisions will lead, but they must learn that for themselves. Some lessons only come with experience.
If raising older kids is the most challenging thing you’ve ever done, then welcome to the club! You’re in good company. Think of Lehi and Sariah, Adam and Eve, Alma and his wife. Maybe you’re feeling like your prayers aren’t getting anywhere and it’s been a while since you felt the Spirit. This may be why:
“The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner, strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit.” – Richard G Scott, October 2009 General Conference
If your emotions are getting in the way of feeling the Spirit, or feeling successful and confident; if you’re filled with self-doubt and self-recrimination, I can help you. I can show you the same tools that have helped me. It all begins with your thoughts. To learn more, please schedule a free 45-minute consultation. The link is on the right side of this page. You can expect a non-judgmental, kind experience. And it will help you. You will feel better.